June 25, 2009

Four years ago, the Discovery Channel and AOL teamed up to present The Greatest American, and people are still griping about the results. Which is one of the great things about living in this country—you can gripe about anything you want.

The Top 25 were whittled down from a list of 100 nominees. What better way to decide on the Greatest American than a popularity contest? Anyway, it’s interesting to see some of the names that made the nomination list. Tom Cruise, the universally despised movie star? John Edwards, the disgraced presidential wannabe? George Lucas, who unleashed mediocre-to-awful Star Wars prequels on an all-too-trusting fanboys? I half expected to see O.J. Simpson and Phil Spector on the list. And why not? In spite of their notoriety, both men’s accomplishments prior to the courtroom are extraordinary, the former’s on the football field and in those Naked Gun movies, the latter in recording studios.

And that’s what qualifies someone as a Great American, I think. Extraordinary accomplishments in their respective areas of expertise. That, and some kind of legacy that does not diminish with advancements in technology and the passing of the years. Or inventing something really cool. Or creating great art, music or literature.

As for the Discovery/AOL list, Ronald Reagan emerged at the top of the heap, a full half a percentage point ahead of Abraham Lincoln, arguably the greatest president ever (I’ll read any book about the man). Then you have Martin Luther King, Jr., and I’m reminded that selflessness and sacrifice are part of what makes a Great American, too. Then we have the familiar faces from the American Revolution—George Washington and Benjamin Franklin, followed by recent Oval Office occupants George W. Bush and Bill Clinton.

By the way, Ralph Nader is a Greater American than either Bush or Clinton. His failed presidential campaigns aside, the man has spent most of his adult life looking out for the welfare and safety of his fellow Americans.

Elvis Presley was #8 on the list. I love Elvis, but I would have to argue that the musical contributions of Louis Armstrong, Chuck Berry, Ray Charles, Bob Dylan and Miles Davis have been more significant. Aside from Charles—whose timeless rendition of “America the Beautiful” alone ought to qualify him—none of those guys made the Top 100. And—gasp!—no Johnny Cash.

I understand the inclusion of Oprah Winfrey (#9), seeing as she singlehandedly saved the publishing industry in recent years. But there are no authors of note in the Top 25, no filmmakers aside from Walt Disney, and no artists—not even Charles M. Schulz, whose Peanuts comic strips will still be cherished long after most of Oprah’s book picks have been forgotten.

Four years later, you’d think someone would have come up with a new list, but it’s probably pointless. As long as we pay our taxes and treat each other with respect, we’re all Great Americans, equal in the eyes of that Great Listmaker in the Sky.
- C.M.

THIS JUST IN…
Congratulations to Digital Graffiti 2009 winners Bryan Beasley of Santa Rosa Beach, Best Local Submission for “Shine of the Ever,” and Panama City’s John Daniel, who won the Audience Favorite honors for “JD’s Fun House.” This year’s event included submissions from artists from all over the world and lured over 1,400 guests to beautiful Alys Beach.

NOTES FROM THE EDITORIAL FRONT
Sharp-eyed Beachcomber readers—who nonetheless couldn’t find The Dude in our last issue—may notice some new names throughout this issue. We’ve gone out of our way to bring in some new voices, only one of whom is related to the editor. If you like what you read, let me know, so I can throw these guys some more work.

More from Christopher Manson